About three years ago I was incredibly lucky: I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Lucky? One of the most lethal forms of cancer, how on earth was that lucky? Well, because it was found incredibly early. No, not before lunchtime, but before it had gone anywhere.
A decade before I had asked my doctor for a quick death. It wasnt for me, it was for a play I was writing called Death The Musical. With all the boomers heading for the final curtain, I thought it was an interesting subject for comedy to examine. Mike Nichols hated it. We would have read-throughs around our dining table, with fine people like Tim Curry, David Hyde Pierce, Tracey Ullman, Rita Wilson, Julian Sands, Jim Piddock, and a young Jordan Peele, where wed read the play and John Du Prez would play the songs wed demoed and people would laugh and be very happy and Mike would invariably say, No. Its crap.
Once, on Mikes birthday, we had a reading, and when I got to David Geffens mansion in Bel Air for his party, Mikes wife, his daughter, and various other friends all congratulated me on the success of the reading.
Theyre all talking about how funny it was.
No, said Mike, its still crap.
My play was about a writer who is writing a musical about death when he discovers he is about to die. Dramatic irony, right? The joke for me was that as he was only a writer and there was a playoff game that weekend in L.A., they were having trouble getting people to attend his memorial.
FATHER NED
When a world-famous star falls under a bus
It makes us feel better that it isnt us.
MADGE
It makes us feel better that no matter who
The rich and the famous must also die too.
But though I loved Freddie and Im his PR
The name of a writer wont go very far.
FATHER NED
Yet though he was kind and no one politer,
Still, in the end, Fred was only a writer.
LUCY
For Stars and their sex lives
The internet hums
But for only a writer
Nobody comes.
For my plot to work I needed to kill my character off quickly, and as part of my research, I asked David Kipper, my doctor friend, the quickest way to die.
He gave me the skinny during a ball game at Dodger Stadium.
What is the quickest, surest, and most sudden cause of death? I asked.
Pancreatic cancer, said Kipper without hesitation. You may only have three weeks.
Perfect, I said.
Flash forward 10 years to 2019 and my same friend Kipper is taking me to a variety of tests at imaging facilities. He specializes in preventative medicine, and I rather reluctantly go through these checks because, while I quite like being alive, as the son of a nurse, I have an inbred fear of hospitals. So this day we are doing an MRI. He has already done blood work and notices a slightly high marker, a dubious blood score on a panel, and on a hunch asks Westside Medical Imaging, while they are examining a couple of other areas, to shoot an isotope into me to highlight and take a look at the pancreas.
Just add a little contrast, he instructs the technician.
It goes into my IV. A slightly warming feeling as the iodine spreads. He disappears into the control booth and I am slid under the banging scanner. Its not long. The banging stops and I meet Kipper in the control area.
Hey buddy, he says, lets just go in here.
I can tell immediately he is serious.
It cant be more serious.
Its pancreatic cancer.
Of course I find it funny. How could I not? Heres Kipper giving me the diagnosis I asked him for 10 years ago. Whats my life motto? Entropy and Irony. Both pigeons limping home to roost. He and the MRI technician gaze at the ghost of a tumor sitting in the middle of my pancreas. It is intact. It is unattached. But it is undeniably, most probably, the C thing. However, this little puppy is still fairly new. It hasnt burst or spread.
Read More: Can Complementary Therapies Ease Cancer Treatment Symptoms? Heres What the Science Says
Heres the good news, Eric, he says, neither the technician nor anyone here has ever seen this at this stage. Its unattached, no nodes, and we have a very good chance of whipping it out.
I break the news to my wife Tania, and even though she will reveal later that she would go into the garden with the dogs and cry, I tell her early on that she is in no way British and that tears, and even other expressions of emotion, are quite acceptable. She can weep. She can come for a hug. Anytime, night or day. She is steadfast, strong, and determined to see me up on my feet again.
We immediately decide that pancreatic cancer is such a scary term and freaks people out so much that we will call my diagnosis Kenny. Kenny is far less threatening. Kenny is manageable. Kenny is something we can talk about publicly. The next day I have an appointment at The Kenny Center. In the Kennyology parking lot, as the valet takes away my car, I say to Tania: This is the Valet of the Chateau of Death.
There is still no cure for the common comedian.
Idle (far right) with members of the Monty Python team on location in Tunisia to film Monty Python's Life of Brian, which features the song "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life," 1978.
Evening Standard/Getty Images
Kipper has cleared his schedule to join us. The Kenny doctor is late. Caroline, his medical assistant, goes through the results. They are as predicted. A cancerous tumor in the middle of the pancreas. Tania asks her how long I have. Caroline says, I honestly cant tell you, weve never had someone at such an early stage as this. Its so early that there are no statistics on it.
Not only is this good news, Eric, says Kipper, but the doctors are going to love this. They rarely get a chance to cure these things, and your diagnosis is so early we have a very good chance of getting it all out.
This optimism is confirmed by the surgeon who now comes down to see me. An air of comedy enters with him as Dr. Nissen is wearing what can only be described as a Monty Python jacket, something Michael Palin or I would have worn as a TV game-show host: a purple floral paisley dinner jacket. He laughs as we all do and excuses himself. He had just come from a reunion lunch at Manhattan Beach. Later he promises to wear the jacket for my surgery.
Kipper discusses the benefits of robotic surgery with him, which is apparently far more accurate than a surgeon.
And a lot cheaper, I point out. To laughter.
They are all keen. The whole team, doctors, nurses, and surgeon. Usually they are fighting a hopeless battle against Kenny. With me they might have a good result. And Im fit and healthy, adds Kipper. Its odd to think that had he not called for that extra test I might have been walking around without knowing this time bomb was ticking away inside me. Just carried on with my year, making plans, looking good and healthy with this growing inside. As I hug him, I say, Theres no doubt you just saved my life.
Read More: What Its Like to Participate in a Clinical Trial for Bladder Cancer
Im hardly home before were booked for my next appointments. Shots Monday. Full-body scan Tuesday. Operation Thursday.
The question now is who to tell. Of course the kids. Id sent my son Carey an email the night before asking him to call over the weekend. Hed called immediately. Taking me by surprise. Tania and I had just toasted Kenny with a glass of Cristal Louis. Im not drinking. But Im not not drinking at moments like this. My son is brave and very encouraging. He immediately offers to fly in from Australia. Now the hardest thing I have left to do, apart from having no tea for 24 hours, is to break the news of Kenny to our daughter Lily. She has been avoiding me as if some instinct is warning her. I suspect she thinks we are going to have a financial talk. She gets married in a year, and I want to reassure her I will be there for her. Long ago I promised I was going to dance at her wedding, but, I warned her, it was going to be an interpretative dance.
Now, I say to my wife, it may have to be a lap dance
Our friends we mostly decide to spare. Better to break the news when it is over. One way or another. But I make my lawyer friend Tom Hoberman laugh when I say that at least its better than boarding school. He is a Kenny survivor of both lung and prostate, so Im lucky to even have him still in my life. And at dinner on the eve of the surgery, I am tempted to tell my old friend Jim Beach that I am heading into hospital for a major op, but his film Bohemian Rhapsody has just picked up four Oscars at the Academy Awards.
Oh, four Oscars, eh? I got awarded Pancreatic Cancer, but theyre still cutting it
No, it seems utterly tasteless to rain on his parade. And we are thrilled for him.
Tania is being very brave, and I remember to tell her the gag I made when Kipper first broke the news to me: Well, Trump and Brexit have certainly made death a far more appealing alternative.
But at least now we know where we are: the soap opera aint over and the proverbial fat lady hasnt only not sung yet, she hasnt even ordered her Uber. Theres a chance. We must attempt to bid Kenny goodbye.
Idle shakes hands with Queen Elizabeth II.
Courtesy Photo
I drive myself to Cedars-Sinai before dawn to check in. It has been decided I will use a pseudonym. To keep away the tabloids. I wonder if the tabloids are at all interested in me, but still, it will be safer, they insist. However, what name to choose? I cant think. I finally settle on Mr. Cheeky. Of course the name of the character in The Life of Brian who sings, Always Look on the Bright Side of Life.
Its fine until I hear someone calling this name at check-in.
Everyone looks up.
Mr. Cheeky, they repeat loudly.
Oh sh-t, thats me.
Good thing I didnt choose Biggus Dickus.
Time to face the music.
Cedars at dawn. Warm blankets, and Dr. Nissen is as good as his word and makes me smile as he comes in wearing his paisley dinner jacket. I count backward from 10 and long before 4, I have disappeared into the Propofol-filled world. When I wake up, I am in recovery. A vague gray world of being washed and fed. And painkillers. The surgery went well, I am assured. Five hours, part of it robotic. The ministering angels in the hospital minister through the long nights while I come off the opiates, and my inner Yorick comes up with riffs on Famous Last Words:
Ouch.
F-ck.
Sh-t this hurts.
No, I havent had a bowel movement yet
Finally my surgeon tells me to go home.
Youll get better a lot quicker there.
He is right. A few days later he confirms the results. It was pancreatic cancer. He has cut it all out. It was not attached to anything and my lymph nodes were clear. The cancer is gone. They could find no further trace in my body. I had been a dead man walking. I am going to live.
Only then do I cry.
This summer, after two years of lockdown, I have finally succeeded in making it back to Europe and I am sitting happily in the sunshine eating croissants with a big grin on my face when I get an unexpected offer. The producers of The Masked Singer want me to turn around and go all the way back to California. Really?
Should I?
On the phone they say it is a very silly show and Ive not exactly been a stranger to very silly shows. I have been a singing water rat and a crooning moon. I sang Always Look on the Bright Side of Life as a Japanese maid from Madame Butterfly to the late Queen, as a dying swan in a tutu with an entire corps de ballet to Prince Charles, and once, dressed as Emma Thompson from Angels in America, to Mike Nichols. Even at my proudest moment, singing my own song at the London Olympics, I was lifted up and tossed around by Bhangra dancers. So I have some experience with silly singing in public, but would I still be able to do that?
Idle performs during the closing ceremony of the 2012 London Olympic Games on August 12, 2012.
Adrian DennisAFP/Getty Images
Only one way to find out. I turn right round and come back.
On our first Zoom call, I need to pick an avatar. They show me three costume sketches, and I instantly choose the hedgehog. Its easy to become a prickly old bastard at my age and I do curl up into a ball when attacked, so yes, a hedgehog seems an appropriate identity.
Next I have to choose a song. Recently I have been admiring Love Me Do, but I know its hard to get permission to do a Beatles song so I call my old pal at Apple who tells me that its not actually in the Beatles catalog but in Paul McCartneys.
You might have a chance if you asked him, says Jonathan. I think hes forgiven you by now, he adds, referring to my playing Dirk in The Rutles.
So I pluck up courage and write to Paul. He is kind and helpful. He ends with, Anyway, have fun, good luck and let me know what show it is so I can make sure to give it a miss!
Yes, he is that funny.
On stage, I am in constant danger of tipping forward and face planting, but strong hands always reach out to grab me. The show is the first time I have performed since my operation, and the crowd is happy, the jury funny, the producers pleased. I am proud to have pulled it off.
As I take my place beside him during the filming, moments after being unmasked, William Shatner, dressed as a knight, whispers in my ear, Wasnt that the hardest thing youve ever had to do in your entire life?
Hedgehog in the Season 8 premiere of The Masked Singer.
Michael BeckerFOX
It is then that I begin to reflect on how fortunate I have been, not only to survive but to be able to squash my feet into oversize paws and sing and dance on the telly. I decide to finally ask Kipper how long he thinks I have. I have been testing every six months and doing well, but still, his answer shocks me.
Well, youre in very good shape. The cancer hasnt recurred. You should have about 10 years.
Ten years! Wow.
So, having survived both the disease and the show, I realize I must tell people what happened to me. And apart from thanking Dr. Kipper, Dr. Nissen, and all the amazing people at Cedars, its time to do something to help. Because its good news. And I wish to help spread it. Its early days, but were starting the Bright Side Fund at Stand Up To Cancer to fund pancreatic-cancer research. I want to encourage people in families at high risk of pancreatic cancer to explore the newer tests available for detecting the disease early. Kipper said that if we had delayed by only two weeks, I would not even have seen the surgeon. So please talk to your doctor to understand which screening tests may be right for you and tell your loved ones to do the same. Help me help others like me to survive. And, all together now: Always look on the bright side of life
More Must-Read Stories From TIME
Contact us at letters@time.com.
Read more:
Eric Idle on Surviving Pancreatic Cancer - TIME
- Preventive or Preventative: Is There a Difference? - Merriam-Webster - January 21st, 2023
- Nurses: The Frontlines of Preventative Care - Bradley University Online - November 24th, 2022
- Functional Medicine of Idaho | Preventative Root Cause Medicine - October 29th, 2022
- This Indigenous Scientist Helped Save Lives as Covid Devastated the Navajo Nation - Scientific American - October 13th, 2022
- As governor calls for better mental health services, Healthy Wyoming says Medicaid expansion needed - Oil City News - October 13th, 2022
- Clinisys formed to help companies manage 'revolution' of lab science - OutSourcing-Pharma.com - October 13th, 2022
- Ainos Announces Positive Results from Additional Preclinical Study of Its Low-dose Oral Interferon Formulation Against New Variant Virus - Omicron -... - October 4th, 2022
- North Korea tells officials that 350,000 people died of diseases this year - Radio Free Asia - October 4th, 2022
- Episode 45 - Preventative Medicine: the Mediterranean Diet and the ... - September 25th, 2022
- Women's health got worse in 2021, global survey finds - WXOW.com - September 25th, 2022
- Wolf Creek PCN expands programming geared to health improvement - Lacombe Express - September 25th, 2022
- 1 in 10 Adults and 1 in 5 Teens Have Symptoms of Depression, What We Know - Healthline - September 25th, 2022
- Three tips to keep youth athletes in top nutritional shape this school year - The Philadelphia Inquirer - September 25th, 2022
- A blood test that detects cancer without symptoms could be a game changer for Louisiana - NOLA.com - September 25th, 2022
- Attacks on hospitals and healthcare in Ukraine: Joint Submission to the United Nations Independent International Commission of Inquiry on Ukraine,... - September 25th, 2022
- Spending on Food and lifestyle for preventive wellness is better than spending on medicines and treatment - The Financial Express - September 25th, 2022
- Exercise is Preventative Medicine - myBurbank.com - September 16th, 2022
- Best preventative medicine, health screening and anti-ageing clinics for HNWs in 2022 - Spear's WMS - September 16th, 2022
- The high hospital bills we make victims of rape and sexual violence pay - Vox.com - September 16th, 2022
- Press Release: CHMP recommends approval of Beyfortus (nirsevimab) for prevention of RSV disease in infants - StreetInsider.com - September 16th, 2022
- Why Now is the Time to Double Down on Virtual Care - HIT Consultant - September 16th, 2022
- Pickleball injuries are on the rise: 5 preventive tips to keep you on the court - The Manual - September 16th, 2022
- Opinion: From the Great War to the pandemic, doctors and nurses have always carried a heavy burden - The Globe and Mail - September 16th, 2022
- Can Sustainable Initiatives Benefit Your Team's Mental Health As Well As The Environment? - MinuteHack - September 16th, 2022
- Management of Chronic Migraine in Children and Adolescents | PHMT - Dove Medical Press - September 16th, 2022
- Workshop on promotion of physical activity in pregnancy | JMDH - Dove Medical Press - September 16th, 2022
- Men at The Emeline: how preventative medical care can help keep you on track - Australian Jewish News - August 30th, 2022
- Study: PCPs Need 26.7 Hours Per Day to Provide Recommended Care - Healthcare Innovation - August 30th, 2022
- New Guidelines Target Preventing Obesity In Midlife Women, But The Conclusion Is Somewhat Controversial - Suggest - August 30th, 2022
- Colleges need to prepare for monkeypox to spread among students, infectious disease experts say - PhillyVoice.com - August 30th, 2022
- BHERC Presents Its First Health Matters Film Screening and Panel Focused on Mental Health During The 28th Annual African American Film Marketplace and... - August 30th, 2022
- The Antitumor Effects of Quercetin - The Epoch Times - August 30th, 2022
- Why 4mg of folic acid will dramatically reduce the risk of birth defects during pregnancy - iNews - August 22nd, 2022
- Cure Is An Absolute, But Prevention Is The Ideal Vasanthi Ramachandran - CodeBlue - August 22nd, 2022
- GET PREPPED FOR A HEALTHY AND PRODUCTIVE SCHOOL YEAR - PR Newswire - August 22nd, 2022
- Researchers examine link between pesticides and thyroid cancer risk in Central California area - EurekAlert - August 22nd, 2022
- 5 Ways Your Body Is Telling You That You Need More Potassium, According to a Cardiologist and a Dietitian - Well+Good - August 22nd, 2022
- Restore Hyper Wellness Announces First Half of 2022 Performance Results with Over $60M in System-Wide Sales & Official Announcement of its Medical... - August 22nd, 2022
- Quest Diagnostics Aims to Close Gaps in Maternal Healthcare with New Obstetrics Test Panel that Includes Hepatitis C Screening - PR Newswire - August 22nd, 2022
- Flu Viral: Here Are The Most Common Queries Answered - NDTV - August 22nd, 2022
- Letters to the Editor, Aug. 19, 2022 - Toronto Sun - August 22nd, 2022
- Gambia: How Covid-19 vaccine contributes to the immunization of the most vulnerable - - Voice Gambia Newspaper - August 22nd, 2022
- The Effect of Maintenance Treatment with Erdosteine on Exacerbation Tr | COPD - Dove Medical Press - August 22nd, 2022
- Diagnostic Robotics has AI catching health problems before they take you to the ER - TechCrunch - August 14th, 2022
- Roches Xofluza issued FDA approval to treat influenza in children aged five years and older - PMLiVE - August 14th, 2022
- Ananta Medicare Provides Preventative Health Solutions to the World - PR Newswire - July 19th, 2022
- 5 "Health Tips" That are Terrible for Over 50s Eat This Not That - Eat This, Not That - July 19th, 2022
- 'Death Cap' Mushrooms Pose Threat to Dogs - University of Wisconsin School of Veterinary Medicine - University of Wisconsin School of Veterinary... - July 19th, 2022
- What Medicaid expansion means for new moms in Virginia - CBS 6 News Richmond WTVR - July 11th, 2022
- Healthcare for the Busy Bee - Flathead Beacon - July 11th, 2022
- The COVID BA.4 and BA.5 subvariants are highly transmissible. Here's what else people in CT need to know. - CT Insider - July 11th, 2022
- NHS to test using drones to fly chemotherapy drugs to Isle of Wight - The Guardian - July 11th, 2022
- The Role of Smoking and Body Mass Index in Mortality Risk Assessment for Geriatric Hip Fracture Patients - Cureus - July 11th, 2022
- Family Health Care Atlanta | Primary & Preventative Medicine - July 3rd, 2022
- Preventative medicine in Rochester Hills MI - July 3rd, 2022
- Joan Merriam: Prevention is the best medicine - The Union - June 22nd, 2022
- RIVERVIEW PRIMARY CARE PROVIDERS AVAILABLE TO OVERSEE YOUR HEALTH NEEDS - kroxam.com - June 22nd, 2022
- Prevention is the best medicine | Caseys Corner - Oroville Mercury-Register - June 22nd, 2022
- With Father's Day in mind, Mayo Clinic doctors remind men to be mindful of their health - WQOW TV News 18 - June 22nd, 2022
- Vilcek-Gold Award for Humanism in Healthcare will be presented this fall to Health Equity Leader Dr. Mona Fouad - City-sentinel - June 13th, 2022
- Margolius named Cleveland director of public health - Cleveland Jewish News - June 13th, 2022
- Three things to know about COVID-19 at this time: Dr. Robert A. Salata - cleveland.com - June 13th, 2022
- Remission seen in every rectal cancer patient in small study of drug - The Hill - June 13th, 2022
- University of Vermont: Advancing healthcare through impactful medicine - Study International News - June 13th, 2022
- On Three Different Continents, Rural Health Strains under the Weight of the Coronavirus - Scientific American - June 13th, 2022
- Do You Suffer from Knee Pain Due to Inflammation or Arthritis? Taking More Walks Will Help, a New Study Shows - Yahoo Life - June 13th, 2022
- Benign Breast Lumps | Health, Medicine and Fitness | siouxcityjournal.com - Sioux City Journal - June 13th, 2022
- 'We are definitely missing cases:' Just a fraction of COVID-19 cases reported in Washington - KING5.com - June 13th, 2022
- Flea-borne typhus outbreak puts three Aucklanders in hospital - Stuff - June 13th, 2022
- Promoters of Preventive Health A Key Role in Nursing - wknd. - May 15th, 2022
- What we know (and don't know) about North Korea's Covid outbreak - WREX.com - May 15th, 2022
- Metabolic Health and Skin Care: What to Know - WWD - May 15th, 2022
- VERIFY Fact Sheet: COVID-19 treatments - VERIFYThis.com - May 15th, 2022
- Twitter: AI applications in healthcare and more - Pharmaceutical Technology - May 15th, 2022
- How Jefferson Health is harnessing philanthropy to address health disparities - Becker's Hospital Review - May 15th, 2022
- Digital Health Companies Bring Paradigm Change Across the Health... - Healthcare Tech Outlook - May 15th, 2022
- We all have a heros journey and our job is to triumph over our tragedies - Kitimat Northern Sentinel - May 15th, 2022
- Doctor Reveals How Woke Activists Have Infiltrated Medicine - Daily Signal - May 15th, 2022
- Study: Serious COVID-19 Outcomes Are More Likely Among Unvaccinated With Heart Issues - Pharmacy Times - May 15th, 2022
- What are the Key Opportunities on Offer for Self-care Medical Device Manufactures Exclusive Study - PharmiWeb.com - May 15th, 2022